It’s Not Just “Horse Play” in The Meat Business You Know!

Firstly, being Irish means the first thing to happen when any big news story breaks is the joke texts start to fly. My favourite text arrived the same day that Tesco was reported to have a problem with some of their beef products. And then the text “News Flash…Traces of Zebra found in Tesco barcodes….” And I still giggle at that one.

But seriously, I think it would be fair to say, where you have opportunities for big volume business you are always going to have a few unscrupulous people. Remember the Pollock being sold as Cod in the chip shops story? Who was making money behind that story? The horse meat scandal was the most public example (so far) of what can go on and how some people are prepared to do just about anything to increase profits. In the case of beef, some would argue that the public demand for cheap beef was to blame but the truth is, its all about greed.

When it comes to wine I am certainly not an expert. In fact, I consider myself a non-drinker. I would maybe have a drink three times a year and when I do take a drink it would be things like Baileys or Cointreau, anything that doesn’t taste like alcohol. Last year I went to southern France on a wine buying trip (I had two really good wine guys with me, (Gabriel Cooney of On The Grapevine & Ouzos Head Chef Raouf Djeffal) the first day we visited six wineries and tasted some thirty wines. To say I got pissed would be an understatement, I slept in the car all the way back to the hotel and I’ve been at the butt end of their jokes ever since.

I was recently sitting with a group of wine guys and our Ouzos restaurant managers discussing our wine list. We were talking about importing more wines directly for Ouzos. The discussion turned to Pinot Grigio and what these wine guys told me left my hair standing on end.

So……..

According to Tom Doorley

Pinot Grigio is the Italian for Pinot Gris, made famous by Alsace but traditionally grown in NE Italy too. Pinot Grigio was made famous (so I'm told!) by Sex in the City in which it became shorthand for "white wine" - hence vastly increased demand for the stuff from Italy. A bit confusingly Pinot Gris used to be known as Tokay d'Alsace in Alsace. In other words, Pinot Grigio became the new Chardonnay, but Chardonnay has more character.

Pinot Grigio is drunk by people who either (a) can't think of anything better to do or (b) are terrified of finding themselves drinking a wine that actually tastes of anything. In fact, really good Pinot Grigio exists (and tastes faintly of grapefruit zest to my palate) but is very expensive and not really worth it. 

According to Anthony Tindal of Tindal Wine Merchants

Pinot Grigio is bastardised from Pinot Gris originally from Alsace and nothing like the real Alsace deal. Designed for the simple palate without taste buds, to be as innocuous as possible, so as not to disturb rabid conversation, and certainly not to be masculine and aggressive or have character or flavours. There is little control over wine production in Italy. It is commonly known that Italy sells 30% more’ Pinot Grigio than it actually produces.

Here are three facts worth considering;

1. Import of lesser known white juices from Spain to Italy is very high.
2. Production of Trebbiano Bianco is as much as 50% higher than actual sales of same. So where does that juice go?
3. 2012...harvests throughout Europe were disastrous, although Pinot Grigio was only down 5 % on last year’s figures. Spanish whites were down 35%, Trebbiano was down 50 % and the result was an increase in the price of Pinot Grigio with sales also anticipated to be up year on year.

The very big question we are left with is, where is all this ‘Pinot Grigio’ coming from? Drink it if you like Suckers, I’ll be sticking with Pinot Gris from Alsace.

According to Gabriel Cooney of On The Grapevine Dalkey

Here is a good question for your dinner party - what is the most widely planted grape variety in the world? Chardonnay? Merlot? Cabernet Sauvignon? The answer, those wine buffs among you will know, is Airen. Yes, the little known Spanish varietal is grown in vast quantities on the plains of La Mancha in central Spain. So how come we don't see lots of bottles of Airen on our shelves? Well, you can get some in Spain, but in general it is used as a blending wine. So what? Well, that is fine if it is blended in to wine in Spain and is all controlled by the regulatory authorities.

However, when you hear of tankers of Airen making the long journey over to northern Italy for blending in to Pinot Grigio, it makes you stop and think. It's been well known for years that Italy makes more "Pinot Grigio" than it grows, but I always presumed it was being plumped out with the less trendy Pinot Bianco or at worst some sad lonely bunches of Trebbiano, but Airen!?

It does perhaps explain how, with increasing demand and static production, the price is going down instead of up, as would normally be dictated by my rudimentary understanding of economics. So, once again, some unscrupulous producers will kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. Watch out for the imminent demise of Pinot Grigio as the trendy tipple of the day.

So, if you like Pinot Grigio and want to drink the real thing, shun that cheapo bottle for €5.99/€6.99/€7.99, even if it has been "reduced from twice the price (because it hasn't, it was never that price in the first place - do you think supermarkets don't make a profit on wine?). Seek out the Pinot Grigio made by a reputable family producer and sold by someone who knows what they are talking about.

So, the question remains - if they are putting in Airen, how come its not bubbly? Don't get me started on Prosecco.......

Where do we go from here?

I don’t think this Pinot Grigio story will ever make the headline but it shows you how big business will sometimes do whatever it takes to make money and how nobody is actually watching. If you think the European bureaucrats will protect us with regulation and labeling then just stop and think of Findus Beef Lasagna in 2013.

The good news is, if there is any, this time it’s about cheap wine so relax this wont kill you (in moderation of course) and remember,” To drink is not the answer; however, drinking will make you forget the question.”

The Comes More Bad News for Wine Drinkers Do you really know what you're drinking? Headlines this week screaming fraud in wine production in France for a popular brand sold in the United States may make you wonder.

So Why “Ouzos” and What’s with the Boat?

We are often asked why we called our steak and seafood restaurant “Ouzos” and what made you buy a boat?. Well, back in the early 1990’s Ouzos was based in Baggot Street, Dublin. It started life as a pizza/pasta restaurant and had a real Mediterranean feel; the name Ouzos seemed to fit very well. When we opened our second restaurant in Ranelagh, Dublin, we found it very tough to attract new customers, we were in competition with numerous other local restaurants and we were all serving the same thing. I needed something to make Ouzos special and set us apart from the competition. I always wanted a fish restaurant and I felt if we were serving lobster, crab, fresh Irish fish and steak in a relaxed restaurant we would have that something very special. I very quickly realized that buying lobster and crab was way too expensive for the sort of restaurant we wanted to operate. If we were going to make this transformation we were going to have to think outside box.

Now what are the chances of that?

A couple of days later I bumped into an old friend of mine on Baggot Street. I hadn’t seen this guy in 15 years and during the course of our conversation I discovered he had small licensed lobster boat down in Greystones and he was selling it. Now what are the chances of that? Two weeks later Ouzos owned a fishing boat, the MFV Phoenix. It was a 21’ lobster boat. It was tiny, but I felt we could certainly land enough crab and lobster for our needs. Another friend of mine who was living in Cahersiveen, Co. Kerry and was fishing mad,  offered to skipper the boat. We bought 200 lobster pots, transported the boat to Kerry and went fishing. Our first delivery of crab claws and lobster arrived by Fast Track the following week just in time for the re-launch of Ouzos, the steak and seafood restaurant. The reaction from customers was fantastic and Ouzos Steak & Seafood Restaurant was born.

The scariest moment of my life…

Commercial fishing is a complex business and boats are very expensive to run and maintain. We very quickly learned that operating a fishing boat for Ouzos alone was going to be financially challenging. Within a year we decided to invest close to €250k in a 33’ fishing boat and 2000 lobster pots, turned our fishing operation into a stand-alone business. Ouzos took the crab and lobster we needed and the balance was sold to the local markets.

During our years when the boat was based in Cahersiveen I would talk to the skipper every day. On days when the weather was bad and the boat was tied up, I would jokingly say “come on, this weather wouldn’t stop George Clooney” (in reference to the movie Perfect Storm). I went fishing with the lads many times. While I’m little embarrassed to say it, I got sea sick on lots of occasions and had the pants scared off me on few occasions as well. On one occasion the boat was heading back down into Dingle Bay while trawling. It was a warm summer’s day. There was a big 15’ swell coming behind us off the Atlantic. I was standing on the deck with the skipper, cup of tea in hand while the boat was riding with the waves. Suddenly, the boat seemed to gently slow and sat down in the water. With that, a very big wave came over the back of the boat, knocked both of us off our feet and for a few seconds it was like being in a washing machine. My lifejacket burst open around my neck and I grabbed for anything to stop me going over the side. It was without doubt the scariest moment of my life, I really thought I was going to die. As the water washed overboard the skipper screamed “the net is snagged on the bottom” Then a second wave hit even more violently than the first. As I struggled to catch my breath, Henry (the skipper) had already cut us free of the net and the danger was over.

As we sat wrapped in blankets and huddled around the heater in the wheelhouse with our teeth shattering from the intense cold, I gazed at the boxes of lobster scattered around the deck and I couldn’t help but wonder if people really knew the real dangers fishermen face everyday to bringing fish to our tables. Needless to say, I never used the George Clooney line again.     

In 2009 I decided to move our fishing operation to Dun Laoghaire. The following year we sold the boat but kept an interest and to this day all our crab & lobster is landed by our good friend and partner Ivan Toole on board the MFV Golden Venture.

Ten Years on!    

Over the last ten years I have gained an enormous admiration for the fishermen of Ireland, I could not do what they do every day. I have learned a lot about fishing and how the market works. We’ve learned that Irish fishermen get paid buttons for their catch when compared to the prices charged by middlemen; I have seen processors paying fishermen 0.60c per kg for haddock on the same day that supermarkets are charging €12 per kg for the same fish. I’ve seen figures on Ireland’s consumption of fish and how 80% of the fish we consume is imported. It’s a sad day for Ireland when boats are tied up in Cork Harbour and The Marine Times (the fishermens’ newspaper) recently referred to Cork Airport as the busiest fishing port in the country. We should all strive to protect our Irish fishermen (I will write a blog on this issue soon). In the meantime please buy Irish fish only.   

Ten years on, hundreds of thousands spent and our adventure into the fishing business is still a wonderful experience, we have met wonderful people, made a huge amount of contacts in the fishing community and when we’re not catching our own fish we’re sourcing the freshest Irish fish for our restaurants.

The Trouble With Internet Reviews

I think the problem with restaurant review websites has been highlighted in the last week when someone decided to attack Pichet’s Nick Munier while hiding behind a silly user name on Tripadvisor. The fact that someone can hide behind a user name and say whatever they like via such websites is reckless and open to all sorts of abuse. Nobody should be subjected to this type of anonymous abuse and anyone who facilitates such abusive behavior via their website should be held responsible.

Another Great Idea!

Someone, somewhere must have decided it would be a great idea to have a website where John-doe/Jane-doe could tell everybody in the whole wide world all about his/her last good or bad restaurant experience. The restaurant review website was born and like all great ideas this one has been copied over and over again. The internet is now full of ways for customers (or so we’re lead to believe) to complement or slag off a restaurant and as My Grandfather Always Said “Paper Never Refused Ink”

So how do I set myself up as a restaurant pundit on the World Wide Web?

Well you don’t need to be a member of the NUJ. Just find a review website and pick a user name, let’s say “jonnyrotten127”. All you need now is a valid email address and let’s face it; a halfwit could setup a new email address in the time it would take to flip a burger. When you signup the website will send you a security email to verify your identity. You simply reply to that security email and Jonnyrotten127 has now been vetted by the security department in the review website who have just proved that jonnyrotten127 of jonnyrotten127@hotmail.com is in fact jonnyrotten127. Now that you have worked your way through this security minefield and you have been given clearance, you can publish whatever you like. Don’t be worried about having to visit a restaurant, if you prefer to go to the pub that’s fine, you don’t have to go to the restaurant; you just have to say you were there and tell your story, warts and all.

Should The Restaurant Engage and Reply to a Web Review?

Most of these review websites give the restaurant the right to reply. One day I found myself writing a reply to a bad review, I started to type “Dear wooleyhead23” and then it struck me, this is just stupid! I’m writing to someone called wooleyhead23, a guy, a girl, a sheep, who knows what, I have no idea who they are or if they actually visited my restaurant at all. So in my opinion, until there is a website where you know who you are replying to, don’t bother.

My Verdict!

If everybody was honest review websites as they are would be fantastic and would do the public and the restaurant business a great service. But alias, we’re not as honest as we should be and a lot of what is said about restaurants on these sites could be true, could be lies, could be exaggerated, could be made up by a disgruntled ex-employee having the final say, could be a competitor trying to make you look bad or could even be the restaurant themselves. Who knows?

TrueReview, a website where the reviewer has a real name?

Now, wouldn’t that be refreshing, a website where you could see who was writing the review and to review a restaurant the user would have to prove to the website who they actually are and their real name was their user name.  There would be a tiny fraction of reviewers compared to the current review format used by all websites but at least they would most likely be true.

This is just another sorry example of people and company’s trying to make easy money out of the hardworking restaurateurs’ without so much as washing a plate.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Nick Munier a couple of times and he is an utter gentleman. I have eaten in his restaurant on many an occasion and I have always enjoyed the wonderful food and good service. I have been so close to lashing out after being at the receiving end of this type of anonymous abuse and I can tell you, it can be difficult to ignore. On this occasion, it’s a big hats-off to Nick, it’s about time someone lost the head with these guys and told them where to go.  

I believe this type of anonymous abuse facilitated by websites and directed at restaurants or individuals via the internet will come to an end when someone sues the pants off someone else.

"Great Deal & Great Restaurant" but are you sure?

“It doesn’t always do exactly what it says on the tin”

The restaurant business is tough, as every restaurateur knows. If a restaurant is well run I think it would be fair to say there are probably a bunch of workaholics involved. At Ouzos we’re blessed to have some of the finest workaholics in the business. From the restaurant floor to our kitchens our staff are truly remarkable people who work incredibly hard to keep Ouzos going and give our customers great food, value for money and great service.

I do get annoyed when some company’s or individuals try to take advantage of restaurants and make money without so much as washing a plate. Below I have given you two good examples of what i mean.     

1.     The Daily Deal Websites!

In 2005 we were approached by a UK marketing company. They did what the likes of Living Social, Groupon, Deal Rush and so on do today. The only difference was this company sold the deals locally and door to door. At the time it seemed like a great idea and a great deal, we signed up and I can tell you I still feel sick when I think of the money we lost on that deal.

If you don’t know how these Daily Deal companies work, I will tell you and I’ll keep it simple. A typical deal would be, meal for 2 + wine, value €100, this is discounted by 50% so you, the customer, can buy this deal for €50. That’s a great deal for you, but what about the restaurant? Well, a Daily Deal website recently quoted my company a commission rate of 50%. So we sell the €100 worth of food and wine for €50, we pay the Daily Deal site €25 and we get €25. As a restaurateur, you don’t have to be mathematicians to figure out you’ve just lost your shirt!  

When Discount Deal Websites sell a vouchers for restaurants that has been heavily discounted, the restaurants lose money and the restaurants nearby and around those restaurants have to try and compete, so everyone loses. Restaurants that lose money close and people lose their jobs. The reality is, deals websites are very profitable for their owners but in my opinion they have done nothing but damage to the restaurant trade in Ireland.

2.     The Plaque Plague!

Outside practically every restaurant in the country you will find these restaurant critic or restaurant guide plaques stuck to the wall in an effort to attract potential new customers. They proclaim things like “Best in Ireland 2013”, “Best Restaurant Award” or “recommended By……” and so on and so on…….So the big question is, do the general public believe that restaurants displaying these plaques are better than the restaurants who have no such plaques displayed?

Before you answer that question consider this, did you know that the plaques are not presented; they are not won in some grand competition. They are simply ordered and purchased by the restaurants? Did you know that the price of these plaques is between €125 and €300 per year? Did you know one company selling its famous plaque will even sell you backdated plaques at a discount?

So here are the problems, when a restaurant purchases a plaque from a restaurant guide or a restaurant critic they effectively become a customer of the guide or the critic? Surly that can’t be right? Surly restaurant critics or restaurant guides must stay impartial in order to have any credibility? I don’t believe they can, as long as they continue to sell their seal of approval. Then there's the really big question, Is it right to allow the public to be duped into believing that these plaques have been awarded to the restaurants when the fact is the plaques have been bought and paid for by the restaurants they are meant to be endorsing?  

At Ouzos we don’t do plaques or Daily Deals, we believe in offering our customers great food, value for money, great service, then we rely on the oldest and the best marketing method of them all “Word-of-Mouth” look after the customers you have and they will spread the word.  

Three of My Restaurant Pet Hates

Three of My Restaurant Pet Hates

I think its all getting a little silly!

Firstly, I have to admit, when I started in the food business almost 25 years ago it was all new to me and I mean all new. I made the decision to open a coffee shop in Dun Laoghaire. I left my job in the electronic manufacturing business found a little premise and with the help of my dear friend Frank Bergin who sadly passed away, we fitted out the coffee shop and six weeks later it was opening day. Problem was I had no idea what I was doing! My Mother is a great cook and came to the rescue; she volunteered to come in for a few hours every day to make the soup and the pies.  I just had to sort everything else out.

A week earlier I had contacted an old friend of mine, Alan O'Reilly. I think it would be fair to say that Alan is one on the highest regarded chefs in the country and all round nice guy. We had known each other from the time we were kids. We even got to represent Ireland together in junior Ten Pin Bowling. Alan arrived on opening day to show me how to make some very nice salads. Ok then he said while straightened his apron, have you got a chopping board, no problem I said, mixing bowls please, no problem as I put everything in front of him. Get me some Iceberg lettuce he ordered me and with great enthusiasm I ran to the fridge, I returned and handed over the Iceberg. He fell around the place laughing, you moron he said, that’s white cabbage. That was my first lesson, 25 years later and I’m still learning, I’m just not the food cabbage I used to be.

   

Ireland, like me, has come an awful long way in the last 25 years in terms of food and restaurants. I believe we now have some of the best restaurants, the best food producers and some of the best chefs in the world. I often go into town and try a restaurant on spec and more often that not the food is very good. We are spoilt for choice but in our quest for even more greatness I think we sometimes get a little silly with food ideas and presentation.

Steak on a stone

“For the first time in my life I was actually afraid of my dinner”

The first time I ever came across steak-on-a-stone was on a lad’s holiday in Fuengirola, Spain. It was 1982, I was 20 and this was my first holiday abroad, everything was new and exciting. We sat in this wonderful steak restaurant in our sleeveless t-shirts (I heard one of my own kids refer to this type of t-shirt as "wife beaters" nice, now I can't believe I ever owned one) white as snow with our tans cut off just above the elbow. Steak on a stone was the house specialty and that’s what we ordered, we were all seriously impressed.   

So 28 years later I find myself sitting in a Dublin restaurant ordering the culinary masterpiece that holds so many found memories for me. It arrives and the waiter stretches across the table, I raise my hands to take the board and he retreats saying “no sir, I’ll put it down, its very very hot”. He places it in front of me and again warns me not to touch the stone, he was so serious he made me nervous. For the first time in my life I was actually afraid of my dinner. I certainly didn’t remember being afraid the last time, but then I was younger and a lot more reckless. By the time I was finished eating the steak-on-a-stone my arms were tired from holding my elbows at eye level in fear of needing a skin graft. The steak was awful, the whole experience was awful and my fond memories of Fuengirola 1982 were destroyed forever. The Fuengirolans were way ahead of their time on this trend and some 28 years ahead of the Irish. As for me, “bin there dun dat”

Chips in a Bucket

“I’d love a bucket of chips”

·        Why would anyone serve chips in a bucket?

·        Who decided chips in a bucket is a great idea?

·        Do chips taste better from a bucket?

·        Have you ever heard anyone say “I’d love a bucket of chips?

·        Do tourists return home and tell their friends “you’ve got to get over to Ireland, they serve chips in a bucket"?

Personally I just don’t get it, I think we've all gone mad.  

Dinner in a bowl

“Please, I’m not a Dog!”

There is nothing nicer that a beautiful fresh summer salad in a bowl, a bowl of home-made pasta carbonara, a bowl of hot Irish stew or even a Thai green curry. So there are lots of wonderful foods that need to be and should be served in a bowl. But that is where it should end. I recently ordered a steak sandwich in a pub and oh no, yes, it was served in a bowl. I was in a very nice restaurant in Dublin city recently, there were fourteen people at our table and all starters and all main courses including a baked cod dish were served in bowls.

I have just typed “food in a bowl” into Google Images. If you’re a chef designing a menu please stop what you’re thinking and go type those words into Google Images, you’ll get the idea!

To be continued…………………

(in the meantime, buy the best Irish produce, cook it well and let the food do the talking!)

How much do you need to know about lobster

How much do you need to know about lobster

to be a restaurant critic?

Restaurant critics, dontcha love them? Well, no, not really just at the moment. It’s Lucinda again.

Ms  O’Sullivan recently said while reviewing a restaurant that actually imports Canadian lobster “I liked the fact that there wasn't any bull about this being ‘local lobster’ – as I am getting in other restaurants.”  Bull? Look, as the owner of two restaurants that serves only local lobster – so local that it is caught by our own boat which operates out of Dun Laoghaire – I’m totally gobsmacked.

It doesn’t end there. It get’s better. Or worse, really. Lucinda goes on to say “They [the restaurant under review] intend to have local lobster in season”.  To qualify as a restaurant critic or food columnist (and that’s another story, of course) you need to know that there is no season for Irish lobster. Irish lobster is landed by hard-working Irish fishermen all year-round.

So, the Sunday Independent appears to be promoting the consumption of Canadian lobster (which, incidentally, is being dumped on the world market as the Canadians are experiencing an enormous glut in lobster production, See CBC News report) at the expense of Irish fishermen and women who risk their lives virtually every day to bring ashore “local” lobster for Irish consumers. In fact, it’s worse than that. The Sunday Independent, by publishing Lucinda O’Sullivan’s flagrantly erroneous comment, seems to imply that Irish lobster is not available at this time of the year and that claims for “local lobster” are, at best, spurious.

As a purveyor of genuinely local lobster, I take grave exception to this.

In our experience, imported lobster, such as Canadian lobster, is an inferior product when compared to fresh Irish Lobster. They are cheaper than Irish lobster and tend to hold their price throughout the year. ...In the case of Canadian lobster (which are mainly from the USA and exported through Canada), their shells tend to be softer and have a plastic feel when being cracked. There is little or no flavour from these lobsters. Certainly compared to Irish or Scottish lobster.

From an animal lover’s point of view, I was disgusted to see how these creatures are transported from Canada. Put in waxed cardboard boxes with dividers, they are forced into tight compartments “cruelly” pointing up-wards while forced to sit on their tails. The poor lobsters have to endure this for well over 2 days. If the lobsters do arrive alive, it is only barely.

From a conservation point of view, these lobsters might look the same but they are not. They are merely closely-related lobster species and it is only a matter of time, if it hasn’t happened already, that someone decides to release one or more of these non native American lobster, Homarus americanus (Canadian if you like) into Irish waters and we end up with some sort of cross between our European lobster, Homarus gammarus, and this American imported lobster. By allowing the live import of these lobsters we are running the risk of loosing our highly sough after Irish Lobster forever.

We are calling on the Irish government to ban the import of live lobster from Canada on the grounds of cruelty and conservation. There are so many things wrong with this practice its hard to know where to begin.

At Ouzos, we will continue to only support our hard-working Irish Fishermen and women and treat our live lobsters with the respect that lobsters deserve. 

Restaurant Critics

Restaurant Critics
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly…

(And in no particular order)

What can a restaurateur say about the restaurant critic? We court the critic through press releases from our PR companies with announcements of grand openings, grand rebrands or any event to catch their eye.

So here we go, put the worm on the hook and hope they bite……………………….

Sometimes we land one and the review is glorious. We wallow in this glory like pigs in shite for weeks and we have even been known to frame this hard earned spectacular stamp of a food critic’s approval and hang it on the restaurant wall for all to see.

Sometimes we land one and the review is a stinker, everything was wrong. We fling the lid and rip it up while shouting “what the F**K do they know about restaurants and food.  

So, Rule No. 1, Be Careful What You Wish For!

Over the years we have had great reviews and a couple of terrible reviews. You would generally know that a review of your restaurant had taken place because the newspaper will contact you to arrange a photo to go with the review. So now that you know its coming you start to panic. Is it good or bad is all you can think of? I have had sleepless nights knowing that a review will hit the papers the next weekend. I have driven around Dublin at 3am in the morning trying to get a copy of the morning paper. I remember on one occasion getting my hands on the Sunday Indo late on a Saturday night. We had only opened Ouzos in Dalkey, Paolo Tullio, Tom Doorley and Ernie Wally had all given us great reviews and now it was Lucinda O’Sullivan’s turn. It was 2am when I showed the review to the staff. We had opened two months earlier. Neither the manager nor I had had a day off in 10 weeks and we were exhausted. Our hearts sank as I read the headline “All at Sea in Dalkey” Lucinda went on to slag everything in the restaurant, the colour, the shape of the restaurant, the food and even got around to slagging the customers. Both I and all the staff just got a good kick in the head from this woman.

So, Rule No. 2, Get a Good Nights Sleep & Wait Till Morning!

I reacted to Lucinda O’Sullivan’s bad review by writing to the Sunday Indo and telling them exactly what I thought of her and the things she had said about my restaurant. Needless to say, it got me nowhere. Three years later, I have apologised by email on two occasions to this critic for loosing the head. Both emails remain unanswered. I even invited her to be a judge at last years Dalkey Lobster Fest, Master Chef Final, she arrived, I offered my hand which she shook while keeping her eyes on the ground. She even ignored the opening of Ouzos Blackrock and has refused to write anything about Ouzos. I recently discovered that she had blocked me from following her on Twitter, Who does that??? I didn’t even know that you could do such a thing!!!

So, Rule No. 3, Never Criticise a Critic!

To quote the great Gordon Ramsay

“I’m now being judged by individuals that know less about food than I do”

 At Ouzos we have been operating our own fishing boat and catching, processing, cooking and serving lobster & crab for over ten years. We know a lot about crab and lobster.

Now imagine this, Katy McGuinness, food critic of what was The Sunday Tribune comes and reviews Ouzos Dalkey and pronounces “the crab claws were definitely frozen” needless to say I went berserk. Ouzos is probably one of few restaurants in the country that goes to the trouble of landing its own crab, we never need to freeze or buy frozen crab. To add insult to injury, she reviewed a famous restaurant in the city a couple of weeks later and declared the crab meat was “spanking fresh” The thing is, we had helped this restaurant out by introducing them to a supplier in Northern Ireland who was supplying them with….YES You’ve Guessed It…… frozen crab meat. So nice one Katy……We invited Katy McGuinness to come fishing with us and learn how we at Ouzos catch, process, cook and serve our crab, she has yet to take the opportunity.
So, Rule No. 4, Don’t Believe Everything the Critic Says!

So what does it take to become a food critic and what qualifications do you need? That’s a big question and after 25 years at their mercy I have no idea.

The only advice I would offer to anyone barking mad enough to open a restaurant is, when you get a great review, take it to bed with you and have a great nights sleep. When you get a bad review just relax, slowly rip it to pieces and shout out loud “what the F**K do they know about restaurants and food” I found it helped me.